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Writer's pictureMariah Ramage

A New Definition of Domestic Violence in America

If you are afraid your internet usage might be monitored, please call the National Domestic Violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224. We want you to be safe.

 

Amongst the widely-publicized changes the Trump administration has made, the Department of Justice’s Office on Violence Against Women quietly made major changes to its definition of domestic violence last year. Rather than the definition vetted by experts from the National Center for Victims of Crime and the National Domestic Violence Hotline, the Trump administration’s new definition no longer includes several aspects of abuse, in effect denying the experiences of many victims of abuse.


The previous definition encompassed the critical aspects that experts recognize as domestic abuse – a pattern of deliberate behavior to maintain power and control, including physical or sexual violence, emotional abuse, economic abuse, or psychological abuse. This definition matched that of the National Domestic Violence Hotline, as seen in this Power & Control Wheel diagram:


Although this Power & Control Wheel uses she/her pronouns for the victim and assumes a male perpetrator, abuse can happen to people of any gender in any type of relationship.

This diagram shows the different “tactics an abusive partner uses to keep their victim in the relationship.” The inside of the wheel is the subtle, continual behaviors that are critical to the abusive relationship, while the outer ring is represents the visible physical or sexual violence.


However, the new Trump definition of domestic violence only includes acts that constitute a felony or misdemeanor crime. This means that as far as Trump’s Department of Justice is concerned, a woman whose partner denies her access to family money, controls what she does and who she sees, plays mind games to make her think she’s crazy, treats her like a servant, and belittles and berates her is not a victim of domestic violence.


If the Office on Violence Against Women (OVW) was solely responsible for prosecution of individual perpetrators of abuse, this might make some sense. But it’s not. The OVW is supposed to help “reduce violence against women and administer justice for and strengthen services to victims of domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking.


How can they hope to reduce violence against women if they ignore the controlling behaviors that perpetuate physical or sexual violence?


How can they strengthen services to victims of abuse if they don’t recognize victims of emotional, economic, or psychological abuse?


Nonphysical violence needs to be included in the definition of domestic violence. Over 1/3 of U.S. women – that means 43.5 million women – have experienced psychological aggression at the hands of an intimate partner. Experts have long recognized that the nonphysical, manipulative behaviors no longer included in the definition of domestic violence can cause greater and more lasting damage than physical harm. Psychological scars can last a lifetime, unlike bruises and broken bones.


Domestic violence relationships also rarely start with physical violence of any kind, let alone violence that is sufficient for criminal charges to be filed. After all, if your arm was broken on a first date, chances are you wouldn’t agree to a second. As the National Domestic Violence Hotline explains, an abusive partner may seem perfect in the early stages, with possessive and controlling behaviors emerging gradually and intensifying as the relationship grows.


It is insidious, and not recognizing the “small” things – screaming, berating, controlling or monitoring other social activities – may lead to victims not realizing they are in danger until it is too late. All too easily, these behaviors can escalate into physical violence as the abuser wants or has more power and control.


In the United States, homicide is one of the leading causes of death for women 44 years or younger, and over half of female homicide victims were killed by a current or former intimate partner.


If we want to reduce domestic violence and female homicides in the United States, we must recognize the insidious, manipulative behaviors that lead to physical violence.


 

If you have concerns about what is happening in your relationship, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)


Some of the signs of an abusive relationship include a partner who:

  • Tells you that you can never do anything right

  • Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away

  • Keeps you or discourages you from seeing friends or family members

  • Insults, demeans or shames you with put-downs

  • Controls every penny spent in the household

  • Takes your money or refuses to give you money for necessary expenses

  • Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you

  • Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do

  • Prevents you from making your own decisions

  • Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your children

  • Prevents you from working or attending school

  • Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets

  • Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons

  • Pressures you to have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually you’re not comfortable with

  • Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol

Common warning signs of each type of abuse can be found here. This includes physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse and coercion, reproductive coercion, financial abuse, and digital abuse.

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